Monday, 1 August 2016

It is easier to believe a lie that fits our experiences than to seek a truth that will challenge them




Well perhaps not a lie; but then is a half truth not also a half lie, and how much of what we believe is at best a half truth

I was brought up very Catholic after all with mixed Maltese and Italian heritage you can, I guess, imagine the background.  Taught in a convent school daily mass was the norm and with the parish church a few hundred yards away we were the ones called upon to serve (and yes I was an altar boy).  Add in the calls to serve at funerals and weddings at times I attended mass a dozen or more times a week, which combined with the nuns who taught me meant I knew the truth. 

A few years later with the death of both my parents before I was 21, the lack of church support and a heavy misuse of drugs I became a born again Pentecostal and graduate of Teen Challenge UK.  Now of course I really knew the truth and that the anti Christ in Rome had perverted the bible, we believed sola scriptura and only sola scriptura. Further time passed as I ministered in Evangelism, Teaching / Preaching, Pastoring and planting but as my faith grew I realised that my sola scriptura was not everyone else’s.  I saw social justice and, dare I say it, social gospel, where others saw miracles; I saw doubt where everyone else saw a lack of faith in salvation and so I went to study. 

I chose not to study in a seminary or bible college but in a secular university and was blown away.  People with no faith, non Christian faith and different Christian expressions challenged me every day and every day the church I called home had no answers except for me “backsliding”

In the 15 years since I have continued to study and learnt not just from my own faith heritage both Catholic and Pentecostal / Charismatic but from every source I could, Orthodox, Celtic, Reformed, Quaker, Anglican and more and found in each a little truth, a half truth as best.

All claimed in some way shape or form though to have THE truth.  Building on my studies I realised that, for me, to truly understand I had to try to peel away the centuries and find out who had said what, why and on whom they had built.
I found we have all stood on the shoulders of others, whether that be the pastor/priest/bishop or pope, the lecturer, those of faith in a previous generation and that all our truth is half truth if we do not acknowledge and understand that

Now I stand as a progressive not knowing all the answers and acknowledging my half truth.  I stand with Pseuso Dionysus and acknowledge God is beyond my understanding and that all I have are half truths.  I stand with Theosis and the slow maturing of the divine within me. I stand with Athansius becoming by grace what He is by nature. I stand with scripture as I believe it revealed.  I stand with anamchara, soul friends, people on the journey with me but most of all I stand imperfectly with the Perfect Logos, the divine revealed

Now too I know the pain of challenge the uncertainty of truth and have that faith in what I do not know but I know the greatest lie is certainty beyond all doubt because faith demands knowledge of the unknowing and of going beyond what we have and do experience into Him alone however you understand Him 

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